In spite of the apparent distinctions in between kids with ADHD and Asperger's, if you sat with these kid's parents, much of exactly what you 'd see would look the exact same consisting of the questions they ask. "Will my child ever resemble the other children in his class. Does she need to be on medication for the rest of her life? Will he ever find out to fit in with the remainder of the world? Will she and I ever discover to speak to each other?" Underlying these questions of course lies a similarity even more disturbing; the view their faces. These parents frequently look afraid. Additionally, I too have my bookings, in part, due to the fact that I would so like to have all the answers and be able to tell them their kid will be okay.
What really bothers me obviously is that I know these moms and dad's fears will probably play nearly as terrific a duty in their child's well being as their picking the right strategy. This then raises what could be my worst issue for these parents; that much of exactly what they will likely learn through specialists will center on doing something I see as unsafe to their children; teaching these kids to copy normal.
Exactly what's wrong with teaching children to mimic normal?
Human beings, especially children, need to feel liked for who they are. To feel this, they need a clear sense of self, both theirs and others. Sadly, these children already do not have of a clear sense of self and others. Hence inquiring to imitate something which is innately unnatural for them will just trigger them to intensify, detaching them much more from the world around them.
In a way then, asking these children to find out to copy typical is like inquiring to use a mask whenever they appear in public. Which is most likely in huge part why, whenever I sit with adults who have ADHD and Asperger's, the most common human emotion I see in them is not fear. It's anger. These folks seethe as hell, in no little part due to the fact that so typically they've been pressed to fake regular in order to fit in.
Some of them have actually even told me things like "why cannot the world adapt to me a bit," and they're right. We too should adapt ourselves to these kids. This in fact is what I wanted as I begin to write this column. I'm going to offer you an alternative to asking these children to fake normal, starting with informing you a bit about the most keynote in all of personality, the idea of the "self.".
Know that in spite of the myriad of books which describe characteristics of the self, none so far has empirically explained the actual source of this experience. At the heart of exactly what I'm about to tell you then is the solution to a centuries old secret; where does our sense of self originated from, our sense of being different from others?
Know it's not self worth I am describing right here nor the different qualities which make up a self. It's our real sense of "me as a separate being" I am referring to right here, without which assisting kids with ADHD and Asperger's to be themselves is difficult. Who are these children anyhow? We're about to begin to learn.
ADHD and Asperger's as Two Ends of the Same Continuum.
You could have noticed that I have progressively been positioning ADHD and Asperger's as diametrically opposed conditions in my recent short articles. In truth, my study over the past twelve years clearly shows this and more; that these two conditions are actually the theoretical poles at the ends of one continuum. To see this though requires you have a background in personality theory. Fortunately, the personality concept needed is the kind Nobel reward winning physicist, Ernest Rutherford described as "concepts you can instruct the barmaid.".
Let's begin with a brief wrap-up of exactly what we discussed in my last article.
Basically I told you that any activity which involves intricate sequences of mental activity will short circuit the brains of people with ADHD. Why? Since this sort of learning literally broadens their focus beyond their capability to track, causing their minds to slow down as if their heads are fulled of molasses. I also informed you that the converse holds true as well; that any activity which includes intensely emotional, single steps of exercising will cause the brains of individuals with ADHD to accelerate and concentrate. Thus their tendency for preferring computer game over research.
Exactly what I 'd such as to now add to this is that with Asperger's, people feel these exact same two things, just in reverse. Therefore for them, any activity which includes complex series of psychological activity will perk up and focus their brains instead of bog them down. Why? Since like the old Roman god, Mercury, who was said to be the only god fast adequate to obtain into and out of hell, asking them to expand their focus and keep moving is like youngster's play. Literally. On the other hand, inquire to do an activity which includes single actions of extremely concentrated exercise and they will slow down, only this time it's their bodies that will slow down, not their minds.
In a way then, we can state that all these children have both conditions. The children with ADHD have ADHD in their minds and Asperger's in their bodies, whereas the Aspies have ADHD in their bodies and Asperger's in their minds. Or shared more just, some folks are very mind oriented, while others are extremely body oriented.
Where am I choosing all this, you ask? It ends up that the very best method to comprehend the personalities of these children is to set aside all the medical signs and simply contrast and compare them at their core. If you do, exactly what you'll discover is, these 2 conditions actually fall at contrary ends of the same continuum. On one end, we have the folks who do finest when asked to do single actions of quick exercising; the folks we share have ADHD, and on the various other end we have the folks who do finest when asked to do complicated series of fast psychological activity; the folks we share have Asperger's.
Obviously there is far more to exactly what underlies these two conditions. This stated, to be able to find a point at which to begin to unravel the mysteries underlying these 2 conditions is to me, worth the effort.
The concern obviously at this point is, on what do I base these claims? My response begins with something most folks I ask have never heard of; the idea that we people have 2 physiological brains. The brain you already understand about, obviously, is the brain in the head. The various other is what medical researchers call, the enteric brain. Or as it's more frequently referred to, the "brain in the gut.".
Exactly what the heck is the enteric brain? It turns out there is a substantial quantity of brain tissue sandwiched into the layers of the diaphragm, the exact same kind of cells discovered in the brain in the head. In addition, it turns out 95 % of the natural chemical which carries our state of minds is not found in the brain in our head. The majority of our serotonin is found in the brain in our gut. Which begs the question, when you take an SSRI like prozac, where is it working? To me, the response is obvious; it's working in the gut. And since serotonin is the primary chemical messenger for feeling, this suggests the common "suspicion" of ADHD folks are actually there.
Regarding exactly how this facet of our physiology plays out in children with ADHD and Asperger's, to reveal you, I'll should make use of a simple analogy; the concept that our two brains function like 2 radio stations, each receiving and relaying on a separate frequency. In addition, like genuine radio stations which are intelligible only when tune in to one at a time, we humans can normally tune in to only one brain.
In real life, what this amounts to is that we can understand only one viewpoint at a time. Either we experience life mostly as ideas which we get and transmit from our minds, or we experience life generally as feeling and intuition, the suspicion I just mentioned. I call the former, being "mind initially," and the later on, "body first.".
Things naturally that's different from radio stations wherein we can can chose which station we tune in to, with our 2 brains we default to one or the other. In fact, my research reveals that this preference establishes significantly like handedness, because we appear to start to establish this choice someplace around age 3 or 4, and plainly have it in place by about age seven.
Please note, I am not stating these preferences are the reason for AS or ADHD. I'm simply stating they are like the fertile ground from which these conditions grow. More important, before you can understand if any of this feels real to you, you'll should initially do a little experiment.
Attempt sitting across from someone with whom you usually speak well, somebody to whom you can easily tune in to. Now ask this person to tell you something that happened to them just recently while keeping in mind how well you understand this person.
Now ask this very same person to tell you something else, only this time, ask them to speak to you really quickly. Again, note how plainly you can comprehend, in addition to how their speeding up affects your capability to think, feel, and follow.
Finally ask this very same person say these same things to you, only this time, inquire to talk exceedingly slow-moving. Right here again, keep in mind exactly how this modification in speed influences your ability to think clearly.
Now stop and contrast and compare your experiences.
If you are a mind initially person, words talked rapidly will feel great to you, whereas slowly talked words will slow down your mind. And make you physically awkward. Conversely, if you are a body initially person, the reverse will happen. The slower the words, the much better you will tune in and understand, particularly with regard to how this feels.
Know that over the past year or so, I've done this try out well over two hundred individuals. In every case, the outcome is the same. Individuals either tune in better to quickly talked, complex series of psychological activity, or they tune in better to slowly spoken, singularly concentrated, exercising.
Remember too that what underlies what I've been telling you is a physiological truth; we have two brains. Google the enteric brain and specifically, Dr. Ron Gershon, and I'm sure you'll be as surprised by his work as I was. Exactly what makes Dr. Gershon's work even more reliable though is his rejection to infer beyond his specialized.
Right here then is where my work in and around personality enters play, in exactly how these 2 brains impact our capability to be aware. It appears then that our capability to be mindful centers in and around these two styles of interpersonal broadcasting and getting; the styles I call mind initially and body first.
Where then does the idea of the self come from? It's easy actually. From the way we experience these two brains. You see, it turns out which ever of our brains goes first is the self we call our "self." Then the other is the self we enjoy. To a children with ADHD this suggests being him or herself is doing something where the body comes first. Video games. Martial arts. After school sports. Whereas to a children with Asperger's, doing those things is like being penalized.
In the months to come, we'll dig deeper into the effects of being mind first and body initially, consisting of how these two states play out in the four most essential states of personality; mind initially, body initially, mind body sync, and shock. We'll also look at a number of other elements which can cause ADHD and Asperger's. These consist of the four diversions; convenience, neatness, understanding, and flexibility, as well as the 4 decision tree processes; bluntness, correction, accuracy, and digression.
The point of all this, obviously, is to be able to comprehend the actual personalities present, as opposed to the symptomology. These children are not broken. Rather, their characters fall beyond the bell formed curve, the base of which, in case you've never noticed, is a single continuum.
Exactly what I'm stating then is that this continuum; from ADHD to Asperger's, is the baseline of personality. In addition, instead of being based upon conjecture or mere statistics, these concepts have actually been paying dividends for several years now, in the form of helping individuals with both conditions to become themselves.
This leads us to some answers to the questions I started this article with:.
"Will my youngster ever be like the other children in his course." Yes, in fact he's even more like the other children than any individual has ever understood.
"Does she need to be on medicine for the rest of her life?" No. Nonetheless, this depends mainly on exactly how she can come to know her true self.
"Will he ever discover to fit in with the rest of the world?" Yes, however just if he discovers to see exactly how his self and the selves of others contrast and compare. Not clinically, nor mentally, but rather, as various but still incredible humans.
"Will she and I ever discover to talk to each other?" Absolutely, provided you discover to construct the required bridge. This depends entirely on exactly how well you learn to see past your fears and trust your digestive tract as far as allowing these kids to become themselves.
As for my individual experience, my whole practice has actually been extremely different considering that I started to adjust the speed of my words to each person, including numerous people who ADHD is so serious, they long ago gave up hope.
Now let's review what I've introduced you to in this article.
All humans have 2 physiological brains, one in the head, the various other in the gut. The one in the head receives and relays on a higher frequency, and we call these broadcasts, thoughts and reasons. The brain in the gut then gets and relays on a lower frequency, and we call these broadcasts, feelings and instinct.
All human beings have a default broadcast frequency, either one based in the head or based in the gut. In addition, since we each have a first choice as far as exactly what we tune in to, we can state we are all either mind first or body first.
Folks with ADHD are constantly really body first. Folks with Asperger's are constantly really mind first. In addition, while these preferences are not the reasons for these conditions, they are, in fact, the two standard personality type differences underlying them.
In essence then, one of the most standard differences in between the personalities of folks with ADHD and those of folks with Asperger's lie in three standard locations;  whether the nature of exactly what they do finest is mind oriented (AS) or body oriented (ADHD),  whether they do finest with either sequences of jobs (AS) or single action jobs (ADHD), and  where they get their best sense of time; either from the speed of what they're thinking (AS) or from the speed of exactly what they're physically doing (ADHD).
In my next post we're going to dig a little bit more into this mind body thing. And at the threat of sounding like a new age weirdo, let me explain that exactly what we've been talking about has been the nature of the mind body connection. Exactly how can understanding the nature of this connection help us to better help our children? The answer to this question lies nearly totally in knowing the best ways to utilize this connection to teach these children to tune in to the world, and us to them.