Despite the obvious distinctions between kids with ADHD and Asperger's, if you sat with these children's moms and dads, much of exactly what you 'd see would look the same including the concerns they ask. "Will my kid ever resemble the other kids in his class. Does she have to be on medicine for the rest of her life? Will he ever discover to harmonize the rest of the world? Will she and I ever find out to speak to each other?" Underlying these problems obviously lies a similarity even more disturbing; the view their faces. These parents often look terrified. Moreover, I too have my reservations, in part, since I would so prefer to have all the answers and be able to tell them their kid will be okay.
Exactly what actually troubles me naturally is that I understand these moms and dad's worries will most likely play almost as fantastic a duty in their kid's well being as their picking the right course of action. This then brings up what might be my worst concern for these moms and dads; that much of what they will likely learn through experts will center on doing something I view as dangerous to their children; teaching these kids to imitate normal.
What's wrong with teaching children to copy regular?
Human beings, particularly children, need to feel liked for who they are. To feel this, they need a clear sense of self, both theirs and others. Sadly, these kids currently do not have of a clear sense of self and others. Therefore asking them to copy something which is innately abnormal for them will just trigger them to worsen, disconnecting them even more from the world around them.
In a way then, asking these kids to find out to copy typical is like asking them to put on a mask whenever they appear in public. Which is probably in big part why, whenever I sit with grownups who have ADHD and Asperger's, the most common human emotion I see in them is not fear. It's temper. These folks seethe as hell, in no little part because so commonly they've been pressed to phony normal in order to fit in.
A few of them have actually even told me things like "why cannot the world adapt to me a little," and they're right. We too have to adapt ourselves to these children. This in fact is what I had in mind as I start to compose this column. I'm going to provide you an alternative to asking these children to fake normal, beginning with telling you a bit about the most keynote in all of character, the concept of the "self.".
Know that despite the myriad of books which explain attributes of the self, none up until now has empirically explained the actual source of this experience. At the heart of what I'm about to tell you then is the option to a centuries old secret; where does our sense of self come from, our sense of being different from others?
Know it's not self worth I am referring to here nor the various qualities making up a self. It's our real sense of "me as a different being" I am referring to right here, without which helping children with ADHD and Asperger's to be themselves is difficult. Who are these kids anyway? We're about to start to find out.
ADHD and Asperger's as Two Ends of the Same Continuum.
You may have observed that I have increasingly been positioning ADHD and Asperger's as diametrically opposed conditions in my current short articles. In truth, my study over the past twelve years plainly shows this and more; that these two conditions are in fact the theoretical poles at the ends of one continuum. To see this though requires you have a background in character concept. Luckily, the character concept needed is the kind Nobel reward winning scientist, Ernest Rutherford described as "ideas you could teach the barmaid.".
Let's start with a quick wrap-up of exactly what we discussed in my last short article.
Basically I told you that any activity which involves complex sequences of mental activity will short circuit the brains of individuals with ADHD. Why? Because this sort of finding out literally broadens their focus beyond their capacity to track, causing their minds to bog down as if their heads are filled with molasses. I likewise told you that the converse holds true also; that any activity which includes extremely emotional, single steps of physical activity will trigger the brains of individuals with ADHD to quicken and concentrate. Thus their tendency for preferring computer game over research.
Exactly what I 'd such as to now add to this is that with Asperger's, individuals feel these exact same two things, only in reverse. Therefore for them, any activity which involves complex series of psychological activity will jazz up and concentrate their brains instead of bog them down. Why? Since like the old Roman god, Mercury, who was stated to be the only god fast sufficient to get into and from hell, asking them to broaden their focus and keep moving resembles youngster's play. Literally. On the other hand, ask to do an activity which involves single steps of intensely concentrated exercising and they will slow down, just this time it's their bodies that will bog down, not their minds.
In a way then, we can state that all these children have both conditions. The kids with ADHD have actually ADHD in their minds and Asperger's in their bodies, whereas the Aspies have actually ADHD in their bodies and Asperger's in their minds. Or stated more simply, some folks are incredibly mind oriented, while others are extremely body oriented.
Where am I choosing all this, you ask? It turns out that the best method to understand the personalities of these kids is to reserve all the clinical signs and just contrast and compare them at their core. If you do, what you'll find is, these two conditions literally fall at opposite ends of the very same continuum. On one end, we have the folks who do best when asked to do single steps of rapid exercise; the folks we say have ADHD, and on the other end we have the folks who do best when asked to do complex sequences of fast psychological activity; the folks we state have Asperger's.
Of course there is far more to what underlies these two conditions. This stated, to be able to find a point at which to begin to unravel the mysteries underlying these 2 conditions is to me, worth the effort.
The question naturally at this point is, on what do I base these claims? My answer starts with something most folks I ask have never ever become aware of; the concept that we humans have 2 physiological brains. The brain you currently learn about, of course, is the brain in the head. The other is what clinical researchers call, the enteric brain. Or as it's more frequently described, the "brain in the gut.".
What the heck is the enteric brain? It ends up there is a substantial quantity of brain cells sandwiched into the layers of the diaphragm, the same sort of cells discovered in the brain in the head. Additionally, it ends up 95 % of the neurotransmitter which carries our state of minds is not discovered in the brain in our head. The majority of our serotonin is discovered in the brain in our gut. Which begs the question, when you take an SSRI like prozac, where is it working? To me, the answer is obvious; it's working in the gut. And because serotonin is the major chemical messenger for emotion, this implies the common "gut feelings" of ADHD folks are really there.
About how this element of our physiology plays out in kids with ADHD and Asperger's, to show you, I'll have to utilize an easy example; the idea that our two brains operate like two radio stations, each getting and transmitting on a different frequency. Furthermore, like genuine radio stations which are intelligible just when tune in to one at a time, we human beings can generally tune in to only one brain.
In real life, exactly what this amounts to is that we can understand only one point of view at a time. Either we experience life mainly as ideas which we receive and transmit from our minds, or we experience life mostly as emotion and instinct, the gut feelings I simply pointed out. I call the former, being "mind initially," and the later, "body initially.".
The thing obviously that's various from radio stations wherein we can can selected which station we tune in to, with our two brains we default to one or the other. In fact, my research shows that this choice establishes quite like handedness, in that we appear to start to develop this choice somewhere around age 3 or 4, and plainly have it in place by about age seven.
Please note, I am not stating these choices are the reason for AS or ADHD. I'm simply stating they are like the fertile ground from which these conditions grow. More crucial, prior to you can know if any of this feels real to you, you'll have to initially do a little experiment.
Try sitting throughout from somebody with whom you generally talk well, someone to whom you can easily tune in to. Now ask this person to inform you something that took place to them just recently while noting exactly how well you understand this person. Now ask this exact same person to inform you something else, only this time, ask him or her to talk to you extremely quickly. Again, note exactly how plainly you can understand, as well as exactly how their speeding up influences your capability to believe, feel, and follow. Finally ask this exact same person say these same things to you, only this time, ask them to talk exceedingly slow-moving. Here once more, note exactly how this change in speed influences your capability to assume clearly.
Now stop and contrast and compare your experiences.
If you are a mind initially person, words spoken swiftly will feel great to you, whereas slowly spoken words will slow down your mind. And make you physically awkward. Alternatively, if you are a body initially individual, the reverse will happen. The slower the words, the much better you will tune in and understand, particularly with regard to how this feels.
Know that over the past year or so, I've done this try out well over two hundred people. In every case, the outcome is the same. People either tune in better to quickly talked, complex sequences of psychological activity, or they tune in better to gradually talked, singularly concentrated, exercise.
Keep in mind too that what underlies exactly what I've been telling you is a physiological reality; we have 2 brains. Google the enteric brain and specifically, Dr. Ron Gershon, and I'm sure you'll be as surprised by his work as I was. Exactly what makes Dr. Gershon's work even more reputable though is his refusal to infer beyond his specialized.
Right here then is where my work in and around character comes into play, in exactly how these 2 brains impact our capability to be aware. It appears then that our ability to be conscious centers around these two styles of interpersonal broadcasting and getting; the styles I call mind first and body first.
Where then does the concept of the self come from? It's basic really. From the way we experience these 2 brains. You see, it turns out which ever of our brains goes first is the self we call our "self." Then the other is the self we enjoy. To a kid with ADHD this indicates being him or herself is doing something where the body comes first. Computer game. Martial arts. After school sports. Whereas to a kid with Asperger's, doing those things resembles being punished.
In the months to come, we'll dig deeper into the ramifications of being mind initially and body initially, including exactly how these 2 states play out in the 4 most essential states of personality; mind initially, body first, mind body sync, and shock. We'll likewise look at several other aspects which can lead to ADHD and Asperger's. These include the 4 interruptions; convenience, neatness, understanding, and freedom, along with the four choice tree procedures; bluntness, correction, precision, and digression.
The point of all this, obviously, is to be able to realize the real characters present, rather than the symptomology. These children are not broken. Rather, their personalities fall outside of the bell formed curve, the base which, in case you've never ever discovered, is a single continuum.
Exactly what I'm stating then is that this continuum; from ADHD to Asperger's, is the baseline of personality. Furthermore, as opposed to being based upon conjecture or simple stats, these concepts have been paying dividends for years now, in the form of assisting individuals with both conditions to become themselves.
This leads us to some answers to the questions I began this short article with:.
"Will my youngster ever resemble the other children in his course." Yes, in fact he's even more like the other kids than any person has ever understood.
"Does she need to be on medication for the rest of her life?" No. Nevertheless, this depends mostly on exactly how she can come to know her true self.
"Will he ever find out to harmonize the rest of the world?" Yes, but just if he finds out to see how his self and the selves of others contrast and compare. Not clinically, nor psychologically, but rather, as various however still remarkable human beings.
"Will she and I ever learn to talk to each other?" Definitely, offered you find out to develop the required bridge. This depends totally on exactly how well you learn to see previous your worries and trust your gut as far as enabling these kids to become themselves.
As for my individual experience, my entire practice has been exceptionally various given that I began to adjust the speed of my words to each individual, including a number of people who ADHD is so severe, they long ago gave up hope.
Now let's assess what I've introduced you to in this article.
All humans have two physiological brains, one in the head, the other in the gut. The one in the head gets and broadcasts on a higher frequency, and we call these broadcasts, ideas and reasons. The brain in the gut then gets and transmits on a lower frequency, and we call these broadcasts, emotions and instinct.
All human beings have a default broadcast frequency, either one based in the head or based in the gut. Furthermore, because we each have a first choice as far as what we tune in to, we can say we are all either mind initially or body initially.
Folks with ADHD are always extremely body first. Folks with Asperger's are constantly extremely mind first. Moreover, while these choices are not the causes of these conditions, they are, in fact, the two fundamental personality type differences underlying them.
In essence then, one of the most fundamental differences between the characters of folks with ADHD and those of folks with Asperger's lie in three fundamental areas;  whether the nature of what they do finest is mind oriented (AS) or body oriented (ADHD),  whether they do finest with either sequences of tasks (AS) or single step tasks (ADHD), and  where they get their finest sense of time; either from the speed of what they're believing (AS) or from the speed of what they're physically doing (ADHD).